Life in the Fast Lane

Most of the time I feel like I spend life in the fast lane, only I’m going nowhere fast. Days, weeks, even years whiz by with stunning speed, yet in many ways things remain the same. There are no drastic changes, no monumental leaps forward or advances made, just the noise and chaos inside my own head ruling the day and wasting my time. I often wish I could step back and take things at a slower pace – you know, the stop and smell the roses kind of existence, where I live in the moment, enjoying every second. Only at the end of the day, everything is all a blur and I wonder how much time I spent more zoned out than in. It can be frustrating. It can make it seem like there are never enough hours in the day and I’m always trying to catch up.

I did realize one victory today. A little over a week ago, as company was expected, I cleaned my living room, my kitchen and my dining room. Those are pretty much all open to one another and if someone is visiting, those are the rooms they will see. Not saying I did much in the rest of the house, except for also cleaning the bathroom. I looked around tonight as I was washing the dinner dishes and realized something. Those rooms were still clean! What?? No pile of laundry was mocking me from the sofa? (I’ve washed, and actually folded and put away this week!) The dining room table was not covered in papers and stuff I had no idea what to do with, and the kitchen counters were still clear and there has not been dirty dishes in my sink in over a week! Whoa! What is going on around here?

Somehow, without even being aware, I’ve been keeping those areas clean. Okay, this shouldn’t be a big deal, but let’s face it, I am the queen of chaos and things just end up strewn about like my idea of decorating is “junky chic.” So I was pretty darned pleased with myself.

I’ve also been working on my writing. Every day like I should. My second draft is coming along and I’m actually almost to the end. It will have to rest a week or so before I go into third draft mode, but I’m making progress on it! It had gone a bit stagnant.

I have to say I’m kind of pleased with myself. Then again maybe it’s just nervous energy. A- is about to say goodbye to middle school and start high school in the fall. She’s petrified and I’m scared! I’m also a bit sad about the whole growing up thing. Little by little I’m getting used to her not clinging so tightly to me, but that is just going to take a while! that I think about it, maybe things are still clean because I just have some time on my hands. Could be.

Either way, it’s kind of nice to feel like I’m not letting things slide. It’s a nice feeling to come home in the afternoon and not be greeted by clutter!! This weekend I will have to clean another room and see if I can add to the streak!


6 thoughts on “Life in the Fast Lane

  1. joanjager

    Like the way it starts. Good description of ADHD – how a day can go by without you really being aware of what you’ve done or where the time went. Next thing you know, you’re wondering if that’s what’s happened to your life too. Glad you’re enjoying some success finding some strategies that help you accomplish what’s important to you. Keep sharing your stories.

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