Can you see me, sticking my tongue out and wagging my fingers on the sides of my head? Not really. And I’m sure there is nothing wrong with your logic. Not at all.
I run on emotion. Is this the natural way of things for those of us with ADHD or am I just an exceptionally emotional person? I am far from illogical, in fact, I’m pretty darned intelligent and I have common sense too. However, I tend to make most of my decisions based on emotions. I’m not sure if this is good or bad – it just is. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, though.
One thing in my world that can get me all riled up and emotional is anything having to do with my daughter. I’m her mother. I know her best and I know what is best for her. I will disagree with anyone who tells me differently. There is no doubt in my mind that I am always RIGHT when it comes to her care. I won’t even budge on that a little bit. Decisions I make for/about A- are based on my emotions, the motherly emotions that tell me what is right for her. I don’t sit there and say, “Well, logically, this is what we should do…” I think my logic is something kind of always there, in the background, ruling things, while not something I have to consciously think about. If I don’t get all emotional about her care, then who will? Who will fight for her or love her more passionately than I will?
I realized that everything I think, from ideas on politics, religion, world affairs and family, I am ruled by emotion. I have strong opinions, I have a strong belief system in what is right and wrong. You do the right thing because it’s right. Period.
I never thought it before, that I am an emotional person, but I’ve come to realize it’s true. I also have a strong aversion to people who tell me they are logical. This is wrong. My distaste happens to come from one person. This person always thought quite highly of himself, and always, always thought he was right. Everything he did, he claimed was “logical.” I kid you not, this person would have to sit back and make a list of pros and cons before running into a burning building to save his own grandmother. And I’m not sure, LOGICALLY, if poor Grandma would win. He arrogantly blames his LOGIC for all his decisions, and uses logic as his reason for always being right. He is pompous, arrogant, narcissistic and truth be told, his logic is the most illogical baloney I have ever heard.
I know logical people. They don’t have to tell me how logical they are. It just shows. And their logic actually makes sense to the rest of the human race. This person though, I have to say, is the one who ruined me on the word logic. The way he used it like a badge of honor and righteousness, no matter how false, turned it into a dirty word for me. Not fair to those who actually have some, but it’s just the way it is. (Kind of like the people who have ruined the word “Christian” for me, because they are talking about what fine Christians they are, the whole time spouting prejudice and hatred. Um, that’s the exact opposite of Christian, I believe.)
So, I am fine with being ruled by emotion. I am okay with letting my heart guide me and my passions rule the day. I don’t mind making decisions based on the fact that I feel very strongly about what I should do. See what I did there? I just called my emotions facts. Ha!
I’ve always been a timid person. I’ve always been unsure of myself and always deferred to the intelligence of others over myself. I never stuck up for myself, and never asserted myself. I like to think that the older I get the more of a happy medium I’m hitting. I don’t want to be obnoxious, but there isn’t anything wrong with standing up for yourself, either.
And when my daughter goes to the doctor, I can discuss her health with the doctors and make informed decisions. But at the end of the day, it is my love for her, my overwhelming desire to keep her safe and healthy, and to make her life better, that will rule the decisions I make about her care. And I don’t see one thing wrong with that. I think most mothers do the same. And probably fathers too.
I get emotional. I feel things deeply and strongly. I get worked up over things. It’s part of who I am. I can accept that. I’ll choose my emotions over fake logic any day of the week.